inspiration.
There I am, sitting down to lunch with my mentor for our last session. I have just sat on my first interviewing panel and been commented as peer to my patron Helen Le Brocq. I think that the latter was a little generous. My mentor wanted to treat me for working so hard over the past year. All my questions for my mentor made me feel just as far off being professional as at the beginning of the year but perhaps from a slightly higher stand point.
The session got me to take stock of things. Stand back and see the bigger picture. Address the smaller issue so that I can move on which, I may add, I couldn’t have done without her.
As I mulled things over this past week, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was in that interview room. I honed in on the ends that didn’t meet. I saw people’s problems and personal insecurities. I felt as if I had met each of those personally (aside for perhaps a couple). I felt harsh and critical. People who know me well tell me that I am too hard on myself. I can’t help that part of my personality. I push myself to be the best possible. My performance isn’t right if it is not flawless.
I wasn’t seeking perfection in that interview room. I was looking out for those people. I wanted to make sure that they were making the right choice at the right point. The course requires a lot of get-up-and-go. I believe that being on the course at the wrong time or for the wrong reason could be detrimental. I didn’t want that for them or for the others.
The other thing that surprised me in that room was meeting the with the ideas again. The drive to achieve amazing outcomes in the community, for people. Sometimes, it is so hard to just stay afloat that you lose sight of what it is that you are trying to achieve or want to achieve. I suppose for me it was always more about just achieving great things for people. That and the creative idea is what excites me. I met the excitement face-to-face in that room.
When you talk to people who have made it, it is often after many years of gruelling work. Only sometimes would you get to see that excitement that drove them on in the first instances. A glimmer here and there. My peers in that room oozed an almost sickening mixture of fear and excitement. The – I don’t dare to dream I could but what if.
I was flicking through the paper the other morning. I rarely do this. A lady had been honoured with a degree for her achievements. I roared with laughter when I read her line about success. You don’t get there by having good dreams. You get there by sweating it out. Taking the heat, doing the leg work and doing it all over again. Spot on girl.
Out of the last week I have two hopes:
I hope that my hard work does not leave me being too harsh.
I hope that my hard work does not kill my inspiration. In the meal of success I would rather have the option of inspiration as a side order than non-existent.
I am really looking forward to the months ahead in my work and with the 2011 Young Creative Leaders on the horizon.
Comments welcome.